August 15th, 2009

I am writing this letter to inform all of you that I have nothing new to report . We honestly haven’t done a damn thing today, and it has been awesome! We woke up late today (with permission) and honestly sat around the bay and did literally nothing. Today I wrote some letters to people, sat under my bunk for several hours and bull shitted with the guys for the rest of the time. We got several people to do the “Impossible Sit-up” which is where you blind fold them, one person stands over them with their ass exposed, and as they go to do their sit-up you remove their blind fold and they come face to face with another man’s ass. I don’t know why that is so damn funny to me but it is. I’m 22 years old and I am going on 12. I honestly don’t think I will every truely grow up.

We had a weird thing happen to us today with one of our drill sergeants. He is one of our replacements who is a pain in the ass. In reality he is special forces and is a total bad ass, but he is mean as hell. A lot of us call him “the man with no shadow” and often exchange his name and Chuck Norris’ when we tell old Chuck Norris jokes. Drill Sergeant “B” ‘s tears cure cancer…too bad Drill Sergeant “B” has never cried. He came into our bay today and made us all go down stairs ASAP. We were all like, “Damn…not again”. He eventually came downstairs with a football and we all played football on the PT track as a platoon and it was fun as hell. We were all really thrown off by that whole situation. Touch football in basic training? That is honestly the only thing we have done today. Ive spent a good amount of time working out in the bay by doing pushups and stuff to pass the time. We are all getting prepared for another PT test which will be on Wednesday of this week. I’ll dominate that again as always.

I don’t know if you remember me telling you about my battle buddy a while ago when I first got here, but every day he seems to prove me wrong. When you think that there is no possible way a person could get more stupid, it happens. The best way I could describe him would be Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber. Honestly, its pretty damn close to that. He provides me with hours of endless laughter from day to day. Today while I was laying on my bunk writing a letter, he was passed out on the floor next to me. My friend Nick and I took a sharpie and drew a sweet mustache and soul patch on him. About five minutes later we had to all head down to form up for chow, and after everyone laughed at him, he realized there was something on his face. He saw it was a mustache and when we told him we had to go right now, he grabbed shaving cream and a razor. Let me say this again… “He grabbed shaving cream and a razor” to get off a sharpie mustache. That whole situation honestly floored me. The thought process that must go on to determine that he needs to shave a penciled in mustache is amazing to me. That ladies and gentlemen will be the person who could be covering my ass in a fire fight on day…Awesome! A literal Gomer Pile with a whopping 33 ASVAB score. He means well, but come on! Lol is a little common sense too much to ask out of somebody?

I don’t know if I have told you all about this or not in a previous letter because honestly its hard to keep track of everything I write but I got promoted within the platoon the other day. I am Alpha Fire team leader for my squad. I answer to my squad leader and platoon guide only and I am in charge of about 8 guys. Its honestly not a huge responsibility but it gives me something to do at least. I was Brave Fire team leader before, and if my squad leader messes up and gets his ass fired, I’ll have to take his place. I would’nt mind being a squad leader actually because you really don’t do shit, just tell other people what to do and make sure it gets done. I made one of my buddies “Assistant TO the Fire team leader”. I think its funny to break the chain of command down to the ridiculous. I may even make a “Secretary to the Assistant TO the fire team leader” position. LOL, it just depends on how bored I get and how much I want to irritate my Platoon Guide, which is quite often lately.

Alrighty, well that is really all I have for now. Monday we have grenades and stuff like that so I will probably wait to write again until then because tomorrow is Sunday and we will probably do even less than we did today. So peace out suckas! …..yeah….. excuse that one, it kind of slipped out (That’s what she said) LOL!

-PFC Zaleuke