My happy ending (minus the sexual gratification)

 Today is Sunday October 12th and I am writing from the comforts of my home in Vero Beach Florida. As you can guess, I did in fact graduate (as expected lol) on October 9th from Ft. Benning and am now a full fledged Army Infantry Soldier. Here is what has happened over the last few days:

I re-read my entry on October 3rd a few minutes ago and it made me laugh a little. At the time when I wrote that entry, I was extremely frustrated and all I wanted to do was get the Hell out of there and back to my home in Florida. The Drill Sergeants on Sand Hill really know how to get under a person's skin and make them feel truly miserable at times. No matter how accomplished someone might feel, they will step in and knock you off of your pedestal where you will land backwards on your ass and feel as if you are lower than shit. That is exactly what they did to us over the past few days. After completing FTX and receiving our cross rifles, we in Delta Company 1-50 felt as if we had truly accomplished something and were on top of the world. We go back to our barracks and we were all in the mindset that we were actually done with all of our training and didn't have to put up with anymore bullshit from anyone. I mean, Hell...The meanest Drill Sergeants came up to me and shook my hand and congratulated me on a job well done and told us "Welcome to the Infantry Soldier." You can see why someone would think, " Hey...I've done it...They wont treat me like shit anymore. I'm a soldier now, and all I need to do now is turn in my shit now and head home." ....Not the case.

There are five phases that make up Infantry OSUT (One Station Unit Training) and those include: Red, White, Blue, Gold, and Black phase. Typically speaking Red phase is the worst phase because they treat us like we are lower than dirt. From what you read online, they make it seem like things will gradually get better and you will be treated better once you advance in the phases. As much as a soldier would like to believe that, it simply was not the case for us. We were shot back to red phase once we completed FTX. The only tasks we really had to do was complete our 5 mile Eagle run and turn in all of our TA-50, and we were good as gold and ready to graduate. As easy as that sounds, the Drill Sergeants made those last two weeks a living Hell for all of us- Especially the last 48 hours before our departure and graduation. 

Thursday October 8th, we had our turning blue ceremony, and it was probably one of the proudest moments of my military career so far, and for good reason. On that day I was officially dubbed an Infantry Soldier (among many of my peers) in front of hundreds of people. We were lined up around the corner for all of the crowds anxiously awaiting the ceremony. We were given the order to march, and as soon as we started marching around the corner we could hear the sounds of M240 Bravo's being fired off in the distance and simulator grenades going off in almost all directions. As we rounded the corner we marched through what seemed like an endless tunnel of smoke which was from the numerous smoke grenades that were set off. As our company made our way through the smoke, suddenly we saw the crowd of people which were made up of our friends family and loved ones. We all lined up on the street facing everyone and stood at parade rest and attention as the ceremony began to take place. When the time came for our First Sergeant to instruct our Drill Sergeants to award his soldiers their blue chords, I could feel my stomach begin to twist in knots. This was the moment I have been waiting for since I signed my contract, I was about to become an infantry soldier. As you all probably have noticed, my father and I are extremely close and I couldn't think of anyone better to pin my blue chord on my shoulder than my best friend and father. Before the ceremony even took place, I acquired an extra set of gold cross rifles, and I kept it in my right pocket. When my father stepped forward out of the crowed to see me for the first time, I was standing at the position of attention. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and handed him my blue chord which he placed on my right shoulder. My blue chord was in my right pocket, so when I handed it to him, I also grabbed that set of extra cross rifles and held it in my hand. After he pinned my blue chord on me, he and I shook hands. As we shook hands, I secretly passed off that set of cross rifles to my father as a gift. I worked my ass off to earn my cross rifles, and I honestly don't think I could have gotten them without the moral support of my father. That being said, I awarded him a set of cross rifles as somewhat of a thank you for everything he has done for me over the years. He is a good father, and one that any guy could be proud to call "Dad." My father wrote to me in a letter during the beginning of the cycle and told me that he would be with me every step of the way. When times were tough, I reached deep down inside and remembered that he was running every mile, doing every push up and sit up, and rucking every step along side me despite him not actually being there. That alone got me through the toughest days of training. If I earned my cross rifles....in my eyes, he earned his too. 

Upon arrival back at base after family day was over, Delta company seemed to be hit in the face with a force that can only be described as "The wrath of Drill Sergeant B." We were told that a different Drill Sergeant would be on duty that night, so we were anticipating a calm night and also a full nights sleep. That certainly was not the case because when we arrived back to formation in our Class A's, we were immediately told to get down in the front lean and rest position for some unknown reason. I immediately thought to myself, "really? Is this actually happening right now? All I want to do is go upstairs, get changed and go to sleep." Drill Sergeant "B" seemed to have some wild hair up his ass and he planned on making our last night a living Hell. We were instructed to go upstairs and conduct bay maintenance, and as we went up to our bay, the minute we walked through the door, the power went out. My immediate thought was, "How the Hell am I going to get this bay cleaned to his standards if I cant see two feet in front of my face?" What I forgot to mention in previous letters is that I was promoted to Assistant Platoon guide, and when our Platoon guide had left for good (because he was prior service) I became the Platoon guide. So it was my job to ensure that everything was done properly or else there would be Hell to pay. At 10:30pm, we all had to make a random phone call to our parents to come back to base and pick up all of our shit because we were told that we all had too much luggage and not all of it would be taken to where it needed to go and therefor would be either left behind or stolen. Awesome... So after I had my shit picked up, I was told that he would be conducting a bay inspection at 1am. Wake up was scheduled for 4am. This meant that we would only be getting three hours of sleep before graduation. Long story short, we only got about an hour or so of sleep before we had to wake up and head off to the graduation field. Needless to say, I wasn't a very happy camper. All I could think of was that It was our last night, and to try to stay positive and make the best out of a shitty situation. 

We woke up, got dressed and boarded the buses that would take us to the NIM (national infantry museum) which was where graduation would be conducted. We arrived at 5am and we were scheduled to graduate at 10 am, so we spent about 5 hours sitting around doing absolutely nothing. The Army really lives up to it's "Hurry up and wait" reputation. Finally the ceremony began and we did our thing and before I knew it I was standing before my Drill Sergeant and hearing him say the words "Dismissed." I immediately directed my attention to finding my father who was already walking towards me and when I found him, he gave me a big hug and a handshake and said to me, "Look at what you've done...look at what you've done." I could see that he too was extremely proud of what I had accomplished, and that made me feel good deep down inside. You have to remember, me joining the Army wasn't really the kind of thing anybody expected from me. So me actually doing something like this was a big shock to a lot of people, so actually graduating and completing something like this was indeed a pretty big accomplishment for me. So for all of those people who doubted me and thought I couldn't do it, you can kiss my ass. 

After the ceremony was complete, I did exactly what I said I was going to do in my last letter. I rushed out to the car with all of my friends, got changed into civilian clothing and headed straight to Hooters where I began my day/night of intoxication. That first sip of beer in over four months was really one to remember. As Will Ferrell said in the movie Old School, "Once it hits your lips....It's so good! It's so good!" After lunch and a lot of beer, I made my way to the tattoo parlor and got a few tattoos that I had been wanting. I got my collar bone finished and I also got a tattoo on my lower leg that memorialized my grandmother. My sister and I both got the same tattoo, but instead of having the exact same ones, we got slightly different ones and in different places but mainly the same concept and idea. My sister and I were both very close to my grandma, and when she passed away a few months ago, we both decided that we'd get a little something to remember her by. I'm pretty big into tattoos anyways as i've said before, and I have quite a few of them, but this one in particular means a great deal to me. As I stated in previous entries, I spoke to my grandmother quite a bit when times were tough and at times it seemed as if she heard me and leant a helping hand, thus getting me though some of the roughest times of basic training. I truly believe she was watching over me and helped me out. She passed away before I decided to join the Army, and I think she would be very proud of me for what I've accomplished. As much as the cross rifles on my shoulder are dedicated to my father, they are also dedicated to my grandmother. I hope she is looking down on me right now smiling and proud. 

The feeling of pulling away from Ft. Benning to head home to Florida was one that I cant even describe. It was as if i've been in prison for the past 4 months and I was out on parol. My father and I drove the 8 hour drive back to our home town of Vero Beach and talked the entire way about anything and everything. When I got home, I was greeted by the loving face of my other best friend- my Golden Retriever puppy Raleigh. You would swear that he hadn't seen me in years by the way he reacted. He gave me his version of a big hug and seemed to have said, "Welcome home buddy, it's sure good to see you." I then realized...I'm home...I'm not dreaming, I am actually home! I unpacked all of my stuff and hopped on my motorcycle and went for a long ride. Just like any happy ending book you read as a child, where this story began is exactly where it ends. I rode my bike to the beach and watched the sunset just like I did the day before I shipped off to basic training. I sat on the boardwalk and appreciated the freedom of watching the waves crash upon the beach and the seagulls and sandpipers play in the sand. I remember thinking of the song written by one of my favorite artists Tim Armstrong from the band Rancid which I have quoted numerous times before, especially that day on the beach before I left. 

"Well Earthquakes shake and fires take, from this view I've seen it all. I've tasted smoke as the hills burned, i've watched the freeway fall. When there's nothing to say, just look into the Bay, you know some things they just feel right. Another East Bay night, yeah..it's gonna be alright."

  I thought to myself,"Yeah..I am home. I am finally home. All of the lonely nights laying in my bed at Ft. Benning dreaming of my return has finally became a reality. I am home. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world, despite how incredibly shitty it was at times. It all becomes irrelevant once you're done and back at home where you are truly happy. This story has a happy ending, and I couldn't be more satisfied with that if I tried. Despite me stating over and over again in this letter that I have "accomplished something," I want to make it known that deep down, I haven't yet really done anything yet. In my mind, by me graduating basic training, I have only given myself an opportunity. I have only accomplished the fact that I am now given the opportunity to become a great soldier. Basic Training is the easy part. It is now up to me to go out and make something of myself utilizing the training that I have been given, and with some hard work and determination I can possibly become a great soldier who does his job effectively and in return I can keep my battle buddies safe as well as myself when the shit hits the fan. 

I know I had said before that this would be my last entry in this blog, and in some ways that statement is true. I have been receiving countless emails, messages, and comments from people I don't even know telling me how much they enjoy reading about my daily experiences and the things that I have to say. I must admit it is all a bit overwhelming to think that people actually rely on me and my writings to help give them a little peace. So many people tell me that they have a soldier who is currently going through training and this blog helps them understand what they are, or will be going through and by reading it they feel as if they are actually there or can picture their soldier doing the same things I have done. This was never the intentions of this blog, rather it was for my friends and family to have a way to stay connected with me while I was away. That being said, I actually enjoy writing about my day and experiences in the Army, and I after some thought and encouragement by readers, I have decided to continue writing. I plan on starting another blog that will pick up right where this one left off an follow me through my first duty station in Germany and possibly through my first deployment. If people enjoy reading this crap, and I enjoy writing it, then who am I to just end it? I will write until I no longer have anything else to say or until people no longer care to read what I have to say. Since this blog is only about my life in Army Basic Training, this will be my last post on this particular blog. I will start another one on this site and I will post the link to it shortly so that you all will be able to continue reading about my adventures in the United States Army. Who knows...maybe one day I will write a book similar to how Colby Buzzell wrote his. Only time and experience will tell. 

Stay tuned, I am not going anywhere anytime soon.

-PFC Zaleuke

PS: I encourage all of you to feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns you might have dealing with the Army, or to just leave some feedback. You can reach me by posting a comment on the blog or by myspace or facebook.

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